Isn’t That Difficult?
When I first mention my polyamorous relationship, most people ask if it's emotionally difficult—not only in terms of jealousy, but all in regards to the balance of attention amongst partners. The reply to both is: in other intimate relationships, we deal with these dilemmas all the time. Upon hearing friends scoring exciting jobs, I often feel jealous, but that doesn't prevent me from feeling happy for them. Parents must learn a balancing act between their children—they cannot give all their attention to each all the time. These emotions and conflicts are real and difficult, but they don't have to absolutely determine our actions or absolutely define our relationships. Moreover, the balancing of attention is often a strength of polyamory. After all, in a monogamous relationship, you may not have to split time between multiple partners, but you do have to share your partner with all the other people in her life. Sometimes this leads to unavoidable conflicts. A hypothetical: your sister comes into town once each fall to tailgate and share a football game with you. Since you were children, football has been an vital part of your relationship, and it has helped keep you close despite living on opposite…Read more