Reading George Fox

Lively Porn vs. Deadly Meditation

Or I’d Rather Be ‘Dick Drunk’ Than Be Masturbated Like Clockwork Content Warning: Explicit description of sex. I picked up Emily Witt’s Future Sex after a friend reviewed it. I haven’t finished yet, but I couldn’t help but notice the discomforting comparison of the chapter on Kink.com (obviously very, very NSFW) and the one on Orgasmic Meditation. Perhaps contrary to our cultural expectations the porn shoot is much more connected, alive, and joyous than the “well-lit room” of a female-led San Franciscan blend of orgasms and transcendentalism. In the chapter on Orgasmic Mediatation, Witt visits OneTouch, a program1 founded by Nicole Daedone that teaches a very particular form of partnered masturbation: “So if her clitoris were a clock” (the room found this hilarious) “it would be in the one o’clock position. And you’re just going to stroke there, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down.” (Kindle Location 733)2 This clitorial time keeping lasts for exactly 15 minutes—the stroker sets a alarm on their iPhone. To me, this sounds like the most deadly and boring sex imaginable.3 Daedone claims to want to free women from the male-centric concept of sex, but drains all the life out of the act in…

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Life Affirming Politics

This is a continuation of a response to @marmanold on Micro.blog. While being pro choice, Democratic priorities would do a lot to reduce the number of abortions: Better and ideally free access to healthcare, especially prenatal and postnatal. Whatever our options are on the status of fetuses, we can all agree that taking care of mother’s during pregnancy and their children after birth is life affirming. A more equal distribution of wealth, free daycare, etc. A significant number of women who get abortions already have children and cite financial reasons about not being able to afford to raise more. Regulation of industries and pollution controls. Environmental factors have clearly been shown to affect the health of children both pre and post birth. One of the most effective methods of reducing abortions is comprehensive sex end and free widely available contraception. Pro-life groups almost always oppose these as well. Abstinence education only delays sexual activity by about 6 months, but when the teens do have sex, they are much more likely to not use contraception. Here’s a really great post from a woman who was strongly pro-life in her teens and was disillusioned with the movement when she learned more in…

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Response to San Hughes on Kink—Savage Lovecast #608

This post is safe for all but the most conservative workplaces. The most explicit aspects are naming a certain fetish and a specific performance art piece.1 There are no visuals. The only link is to the podcast page. I’m to lazy to search JSTOR for Sam’s research, but some of what he shares in the podcast doesn’t match up with my experience. Towards the beginning he suggests that people often eroticize the opposite of what causes them stress: the classic CEO goes to the dominatrix. One potential odditiy is that Hughes also talks about kink stages starting in childhood (well before anyone is a CEO). But on a personal level, his explanation doesn’t make much sense. One thing I love about being a dom is setting up scenes and telling degrading2 stories. Take the intercourse, degradation, and personal participation out and that basically describes my career as a lighting designer/theater-maker.3 Indeed going back to my childhood, a lot of my play with friends was running around outside, making up stories, and telling them their roles. Another through line from the rest of my life is the nature of my sadism: I like creating predicaments where there is no “right” answer.…

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Recommended Blogs for 2018

This started out as a response to @colinwalker, but grew beyond that. Some thoughts on interesting blogs to follow in 2018: Letters and Sodas—Great book reviews on a wide range of topics. Balkinization—Looking at politics through a legal lens. Love, Joy, Feminism—A woman who grew up in a Quiverfull family and her journey towards a more liberal view of family, sexuality and the world. Putting the Life Back Into Science Fiction—Looks at the possible consequences of climate change through imagining the future. Tits and Sass—A blog by and about Sex Workers. Field Negro—Politics from an African American Man’s perspective. Warren Throckmorton—An evangelical preacher/psychologist who used to believe you could pray away the gay, but absorbed research and experience that it’s impossible to do so. An important conservative religious voice on the disjunction between evangelicals and the modern world. Feministe—Feminist perspectives on the world today. Looks like I certainly side on the liberal end of things. Perhaps I need more conservative voices in my feeds, but it’s pretty hard today to find ones that engage with reality.

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Isn’t That Difficult?

When I first mention my polyamorous relationship, most people ask if it's emotionally difficult—not only in terms of jealousy, but all in regards to the balance of attention amongst partners. The reply to both is: in other intimate relationships, we deal with these dilemmas all the time. Upon hearing friends scoring exciting jobs, I often feel jealous, but that doesn't prevent me from feeling happy for them. Parents must learn a balancing act between their children—they cannot give all their attention to each all the time. These emotions and conflicts are real and difficult, but they don't have to absolutely determine our actions or absolutely define our relationships. Moreover, the balancing of attention is often a strength of polyamory. After all, in a monogamous relationship, you may not have to split time between multiple partners, but you do have to share your partner with all the other people in her life. Sometimes this leads to unavoidable conflicts. A hypothetical: your sister comes into town once each fall to tailgate and share a football game with you. Since you were children, football has been an vital part of your relationship, and it has helped keep you close despite living on opposite…

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Upcoming Posts

Sorry for the late post. Turns out a 340 mile round-trip drive from Salem to Poughkeepsie and back is not conducive to writing in-depth the next day. Anyways, onto the preview! Blogging and the Anti-Social Bookmarker — A return to tech for those bored of politics and art. Ever since Maciej enabled Privacy Lock, I've set my personal Pinboard to be completely private. I'm not particularly interested in sharing all my personal interests1. However, after starting Reading George Fox, I figured it would be helpful2 to provide an archive of my sources; hence the pinboard.in link on the side. Now, who wants to manage two different bookmarking accounts? Certainly not lazy old me. I've cobbled together a small AppleScript and bash system to automate transferring links from the personal account to the blog's. This will be the story of that journey.3 One Size Fits All — On the Magnum Edition of Lovecast 356, Dan chats with Dr. Joye Swan about condom use and magical monogamy thinking. While Dr. Swan has done some excellent research on the STI/HIV risks of serial monogamy and partner infidelity, her advice for “the re-education we have to go through” is far too dogmatic and narrow…

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Good Sense

Dan Savage’s continuing enthusiasm for Anthony Weiner is well intentioned, but ultimately mistaken and potentially counter-productive[1]. Dan is absolutely correct that we must fight for a world in which our sexual interests and mistakes do not disqualify us from employment or public service. How we behave[2] in the bedroom has little impact on how we work outside of it. Moreover, we have always been a kinky species; the Internet has just made our kinks public knowledge. In the long run, this is a wonderful news—it’s much harder to be judgmental about others’ quirks when your own are well known[3]. Weiner is just the wrong standard bearer for this fight. Dan often makes a distinction between having a kink[4] and how you communicate it. We look for good judgment in potential partners, and introducing yourself as a Furry, Coprophiliac, and Masochist on the first date usually[5] indicates that you aren’t the sharpest knife in the draw. Ol’ Anthony has taken a plethora of opportunities this summer to showcase his horrendous judgment. If you are premising your campaign as a redemptive journey, don’t engage in the behavior that fucked you in the first place. Especially when your wife will have to stand…

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